Licking the Salt from the Biscuit of Life - FIC: Bothering Snape (R)

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August 3rd, 2007

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11:47 pm - FIC: Bothering Snape (R)
Title: Bothering Snape
Characters: Snape/Tonks/(Cedric Diggory)
Word Count: 1600
Rating: R
Warnings: dark subject matter, abuse, non-con (not graphic), dark humour

Summary: Set some time after Snape insults Tonks' weak new Patronus in HBP.

Tonks stood with her hand wavering indecisively over the wooden door that led to Snape’s rooms. She looked up and down the corridor again. The Slytherin quarters were a part of the castle she’d never been to before and the gloomy dark dungeons were creeping her right out.

It was Kingsley who had put this bloody awful idea into her head. She’d been noticeably withdrawn for days after Snape had insulted her new Patronus and Kingsley had finally wormed the whole incident out of her (not that it was a big deal or anything, she could handle any number of bitchy remarks from old turd-face). She had to admit that not having a fully functioning Patronus was a problem, especially when she was supposed to be helping guard Hogwarts against the Dementors.

“There are other ways to repel Dementors than using a Patronus, young Tonks,” Kingsley had said.


“Absolutely,” he had replied, rolling the vowels in his deep, melliferous way. “Just you ask Professor Snape. He hasn’t used a Patronus for years.”

Tonks didn’t fancy that idea much, yet she couldn’t quite understand why the very thought of going to ask Snape was making her so damned nervous. She’d sat through his Potions classes for seven years with no more than the average amount of spiteful intimidation coming her way (which considering it was Snape, was quite a lot). They’d been in the same room during Order meetings with no ill effects occurring – a cheerful greeting on her side, a blank stare from him, the occasional professional exchange of information - all par for the course. So why were her palms sweating… why were her legs shaking… why was her heart racing?

Drawing in a breath and steadying her arm, she knocked on the door so firmly that her knuckles stung. It opened the merest crack. Torchlight from the corridor highlighted the hooked nose of Professor Snape poking out from between two curtains of shadow.

“Ah, Miss Tonks. And what can I help you with?”

“Sorry to bother you, Professor Snape. Do you have a few minutes? There was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Tonks checked the corridor again, deserted for the moment, “in private, if it’s convenient.”

“How astonishingly mysterious,” replied Snape, but he opened the door wider and gestured her in.

“Oh, there’s no mystery. It’s just about what you said to me at the school gates – about my Patronus.”

Tonks stopped for a second to gather her thoughts. She didn’t want to bring any details of her love life up in front of Snape if she could possibly avoid it. It was embarrassing enough to be a qualified Auror and still be mucking up her Patronus.

“Kingsley said that you know a better way of dealing with Dementors than using a Patronus. If you would be so kind as to teach it to me...”

“You’d be very grateful?” Snape raised one eyebrow.

“Yes, and Hogwarts would be safer.”

“And since Hogwarts is so dear to my heart, how can I possibly refuse?” Snape steepled his hands in front of his robes and tapped the index fingers together excitedly. “Very well then, shall we begin?”

Tonks took a step back in alarm. “You haven’t said what we’re going to be doing yet!”

“The first step requires that I use Legilimency. I’ll need to look within you to determine what shape your alternative protection will take. You won’t need your wand for this – leave it on the table.”

Tonks set her wand down cautiously and approached Snape. He gripped both her shoulders and pulled her even closer. At this range she was only inches from the late night stubble on his greasy, prominent chin and his long, stringy hair dangled towards her, nearly brushing her cheeks. He lifted his wand to cast the spell. Tonks dutifully lifted her eyes to look into his dark ones, wide and sparkling with impatience.


Silvery cords flew out and bound Tonks hand and foot and gagged her mouth, taking her completely by surprise. She lost her balance and plummeted head-first towards the hard stone floor, but Snape caught her with another spell, levitating her towards the corner of the room.

“No point in wasting time. Wouldn’t you agree, Miss Tonks?” Snape said, almost cheerfully, briskly walking to a door, opening it and sweeping her helpless body inside.

When Tonks saw the lumpy, unmade bed which took up most of the room she began to struggle more fiercely. She was deposited on top of the rumpled sheets while Snape busied himself with a pile of books on the bedside table. After a few seconds he seemed to remember Tonks, busy inching her way off his bed.

“Tsk, of course.” He aimed his wand and the glowing bonds holding her arms and legs bound fizzled and split into four parts, pulling her hands and feet far apart into an X and connecting firmly to invisible posts at the corners of the bed.

“Murrgghhh!” protested Tonks, as best as she could through the magical gag. She couldn’t understand what on earth had suddenly happened. Hogwarts had outlawed trussing up students years ago, never mind visiting Aurors. This couldn’t be part of the lesson, could it?

Finally, Snape found the book he had been looking for. He smiled at Tonks, exposing an upper row of crooked, yellowing teeth and pointed to a picture on one of the pages.


Tonks turned her head. It appeared to be a photograph from one of Hogwarts school annuals, published each year to celebrate the pupils' achievements. At the end of Snape’s potion-stained finger was a remarkably good looking, brown haired young man of about seventeen, in Hufflepuff Quidditch robes. A Golden Snitch buzzed above his upturned palm. Underneath the picture she read the words ‘Cedric Diggory’.

“Mmmm..mmmm?” asked Tonks. Her gag disappeared.

“What about him?” she repeated.

“I want you to transform yourself into him.”

“What does this have to do with repelling Dementors?”

Snape’s lip twitched into its habitual sneer.

“Very little, I think you’ll find. Actually, I’m slightly disappointed that you hadn't worked that out already.”

Tonks felt her heart sink. “And what does it have to do with?”

“Really, Miss Tonks, I expected better from you. This is all so tiresome and unnecessary. If you must: as a teacher I find the restrictions I am placed under quite an annoyance. I must restrain myself and not curse the students, neither must I flog nor molest them, no matter how provoked. This is where you enter the picture, like a gift from the fates. I am in loco parentis – you are in place of the students. Satisfied?”

Satisfied? How did ever he think he was going to get away with this?

“But I don’t want to…”

“Please consider your position. You are bound. Your wand is outside. I am a considerably more experienced wizard than you are - I’m afraid that I have you at a disadvantage. Now, kindly change into Cedric Diggory, with all the associated anatomy.”

As if to emphasise this line of reasoning, Snape straddled her on the bed and slapped her across the face, roughly and with determination.

“I do hate to spout clichés, but there is an easy way to do this or there is a hard way and both suit me admirably.”

He hit her again with equal relish.

“Come, now. The sooner you become Diggory, the sooner it will all be over. I just want to fuck him, then I’ll let you go.”

Tonks could hardly think, her head was ringing so hard. What should she do? She knew that a few slaps was nothing compared to what Snape could do if he tried – and it looked like he was about to. Snape took his wand up from the side table and aimed it at her stomach.

“I can hurt…” Tonks screamed as the tip carved through her clothes and sliced a red gash into her side, “or I can heal…” and as soon as the blood began to trickle towards the sheets, there was smooth, unblemished skin on her abdomen again.

Snape lifted the book again and pushed the photo right up against her nose.

“Change! Change! Change! Imperio!”

Tonks flopped like a doll as Snape’s will took over her body, then experienced a jerking sense of disorientation as he immediately pulled out of her again.

“Change into Diggory!”

The moving photograph dominating her vision, Tonks’ confused brain obeyed without thinking; she grew six inches taller and broader at the shoulders, her red Auror uniform changed into yellow Quidditch robes and her face took on the distinctly stronger jawline of the former Hufflepuff seeker.

“Remaneomorphus!” shouted Snape triumphantly, fixing the form.


“So, did you ask Snape for help about your Patronus?”

Kingsley looked at Tonks with such genuine concern, she felt guilty that she hadn’t taken his advice.

“No, he wasn’t in, so I went for a walk around the grounds instead. It was nice. Nostalgic, y’know?”

“Really? That’s the third night - or is it the fourth? Isn’t that man ever at home? Perhaps he really is a vampire as they say and he likes to go off flying, looking for new victims. Then when he bites them they all have to dress in the same flappy black robes like an army of bats.” Kingsley laughed; a rich, comforting sound.

Third time? Surely not. Who was it that had told her that Snape wasn’t in? Had she even tried to knock on his door to make sure? She didn’t even seem to be able to picture what his door looked like – had she actually been anywhere near the Slytherin part of Hogwarts?

“You really should ask him about an alternative until your Patronus gets better, Tonks. It’s important. I don’t want to hear about you being a snack for some Dementor. Will you promise me, girl?”

“No problem, Kingsley. I promise you - I’ll go and see Snape tonight. So no more need for all your worrying.”

(Indulge your wild theories here)


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