Licking the Salt from the Biscuit of Life - BOOSHFIC: series 3 PWPs in progress

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November 13th, 2007

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02:21 am - BOOSHFIC: series 3 PWPs in progress
Title: 3 fics: 1. SUNCREAM (NC-17)
2. DANCE (G)
Author: accio_arse
Rating: G to NC-17
Pairings: Various, from series three episode one - Eels
DISCLAIMER: Not my characters, I’m just making them do dirty things.

Summary: Three short PWPs, slashing up the new series 3 characters. Also: warning. I wrote this at two in the morning.



In his chair, Saboo took up position with the two balloons. Their pink mounds, one on either side, pushing tight up against his cock and balls, which had been greased up beforehand with Factor 12. As soon as the balloons touched him, they started to slip up and down, their taut mounds already shuddering and squeaking. Saboo thrust his hips up in the space between them, groaning, and pushing the balloons back and forward as he thrust.


The slippery balloons had escaped into the air.

Saboo raised his shoulder and sighed, loudly. He waddled after the fugative balloons. His half-lowered trousers made walking incredibly difficult, and his erection, standing out prominently from his clothed body, wobbled with every step.

Saboo put the balloons back in position, wiping the excess sun cream off on the sides of his ritual shamanistic coat. He brought the two pink, fully inflated balloons between his hairy knees. Then he raised them, high enough to graze his naked cock again. His cock jumped once more at the contact.

“Ooh yes, Tony. How d’you like those twitchings?”

He imagined a lumpy head, one with strange tentacles, talking in an annoying voice – really quite annoyingly nasal - yet the more Saboo thought about it, how the head between his legs would wriggle and shout that it was an outrage, the harder Saboo gasped and the stronger he felt the pulsing through his cock.

He remembered the time on the beach, when he’d squirted his cream into that pink, welcoming cleft. Tony had taunted him - “Yes, Saboo…go on rub it in. Go on - don’t be ashamed of yourself. Just because you’ve become aroused….”

And he had been aroused.

“Cleft!” shouted Saboo, his feathered hat falling off as he approached climax. “YES! Cleft!” And with a shudder he spurted, his gloop shooting all over the shiny surface of the balloons.

He collapsed, letting both balloons fall from his grasp with a squeak. His fingertips were still shiny where the suncream lingered.

“Tony,” he whispered, simply, “…cleft.”



o o



o o



o o
##### x x x
<> x


^ ^
o o





The unlikely lady pursed her lips and leant in. An old-fashioned scent of gardenias filled the air. “I want you to mess me up… “ she said.

“I’m gonna mess you up,” Howard assured her. “Don’t you worry about that.”

“Turn me into a mess machine.”

“Will do... “ Howard twitched his eyebrows nervously. “But before you touch the merchandise - show me the money?”

The lady handed over a wodge of bills, held together by elastic.

“Fine.” Howard waved the roll in the air. “I’ve got the money.”

Eleanor waited, licking her lips at Howard.

Howard waved the money in the air some more. “Vince? Vince! VINCE!”

“Hush hush, little space man.” Taking a firm hold of Howard’s cowboy shirt, Eleanor pulled Howard closer in. “Come to momma.”

Eleanor was pushing hard against him – sharing body warmth, a flower-filled perfume, and an eager erection, which Howard felt shoving hard into his thigh. He whimpered. “Vince? Help! Help?”

“There’s part of me that’s wanting your love squeezin’” said Eleanor, hoisting up her dress at the front. “I just paid a thousand euros for you to lick them good.”

Howard saw the top of naked thighs, gleaming plump and white in the streetlight. Just a tease of skin, then the rest of the legs were hidden in a pair of sheer stockings, edged with lace and held up with suspenders. Between the naked thighs strained a red, shiny pouch, again trimmed with lace, and full of excited contents.

“Come on, Howard. You said you were dirty.”

Howard looked round desperately for Vince.

“You going to lick my balls or not?”

MORE TO COME… still writing it!

(Indulge your wild theories here)


Date:November 13th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC)
Haha, I heart Taboo! I started writing a Howince that takes place after "Eels"... need to get that up. Or rather, get it ready for Friday.
[User Picture]
Date:November 13th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
Taboo! Ha ha, that's fab! These squashed up names amuse and disturb me simultaneously. It's like stripping humanity and adding humour all at once.

The more good quality Howard/Vince the better. I'm intrigued at exactly where you put the slash between them into series 3.

And I'm already working on an episode 2 slash - is it just me, or do these epsiodes just scream with unwritten sex scenes?
Date:November 13th, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
Ep 2 could have a Vince-on-Vince orgy!

Ah, stripping humanity, adding humour, what's the dif. Although at least there's not that much humanity to Tony to strip. (I showed my four-year-old nephew Ep 2 the other day - he'd watched Boosh with me on the computer before - I was worried after Ep 1 I wouldn't be able to show him any more - but anyway he told me he wanted to see that show "with Tony" again. Tony Harrison must be the most memorable minor character ever invented.)
[User Picture]
Date:November 13th, 2007 11:15 pm (UTC)
Ep 2 could have a Vince-on-Vince orgy!

YOU READ MY MIND! How could I resist Vince in a hairdo like THAT? About the size of a brown bear, perched on top of his skull. Sexaaayyy.

he told me he wanted to see that show "with Tony" again.

Awwww! Four years old! Kids really do love The Boosh, don't they? All those bright colours and funny characters and silly songs. Though I wonder what planet the director's on when he talks about it being suitable for all ages, then includes large jets of Cockney urine.

I wish I could write the songs into my fics, but it isn't the same without the music.
Date:November 13th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
I could maybe explain the piss-in-the-face in a way that would pass over a 4-year-old's head (I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what "yer-rine" is - similarly "I did a shit on your mum" was okay because he doesn't know what "a shit" is and it got lost in the loud music), but I don't need him going to his mother and asking what "rape" is (as in "If you weren't a geezer I'd be rapin' you over the counter!").

As Noel says in the live show: "For all you kids who are watching - it's S-T-U-M-P F-U-C-K-I-N-G! Get it right on the playground!!" *shakes head* (They are a dark couple of buggers.)
Date:September 9th, 2010 03:20 am (UTC)


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