Licking the Salt from the Biscuit of Life - Thoughts and plankton

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May 26th, 2008


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12:21 pm - Thoughts and plankton
A lot of the reason why I don't write more, or at least in my journal, is a lack of belief in the value of my thoughts.

I think pretty much all the time. I have these great swirling theories in my head and they're very important to me. They keep me alive. Yet I hesitate to put them down, as if by setting them in concrete they'll be somehow diminished. Or more likely, my ideas will turn out to be a lot more rubbish than I thought they were. Perhaps I like their potential more than their reality.

Ultimately it's a self-defeating thing to do. If I don't set down my ideas and make them real, I can never set about honing them, testing them, and slowly getting better at having them. I'll always live in an amorphous grey cloud of possibilities. I need to crystallise them into their true potential, no matter how flawed.



I just spent three weeks having a lymph node infection, and that's why there's been no writing updates from me. And by the way, if anyone is thinking of having a lymph node infection, just for fun and merry laughs, here's a word. DON'T! Not that you're given a choice in the matter. But it really does hurt rather.

I went out for the first time in a month yesterday. It was very nice. I went to the local park. Lots of sun and flowers. But I did have to stop along the way about 30 times to rest because I'm still so weak. Stupid being ill.

On the other hand, it's given me loads of time to watch hours and hours of David Attenborough on the telly. Today's episode was about the deep ocean. Ah, those crazy plankton and their merry japes.


Oh, and I'm still reading Umberto Eco's 'The Island of the Day Before'. It's fantastic. It gets better the more I read.

Quote:

"A true philosopher never seeks to subvert the order of things. He accepts it. He asks only to be allowed to cultivate the thoughts that cultivate a strong spirit...

Sometimes I look at the Moon, and I imagine that those darker spots are caverns, cities, isalnds and the places that shine are those where the sea catches the light of the sun like the glass of a mirror. I would like to tell the stories of their kings, their wars, and their revolutions, or of the unhappiness of lovers up there, who in the course of their nights sigh as they look down at our Earth. I would like to tell about war and friendship among the various parts of the body, the arms that do battle with the feet, and the veins that make love with the arteries, or the bones with the marrow. All the stories I would like to write persecute me."

(Indulge your wild theories here)

Comments:


From:[info]schemingreader
Date:May 27th, 2008 10:20 am (UTC)
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I was just wondering what was happening, and had started to draft an email. I wasn't sure if maybe I missed posts because of not checking my flist often enough.

Gah, an infection in your very immune system. That is not good. You must be so exhausted.

You have a body at war with itself, when it should be making love to itself, and to your mind. I think most people would want to love your mind. The desperate sexiness and fertility of your mind--it's a very bosomy mind, a very ripe mind, and you have just admitted that this isn't all, that there is much more.

I have more to say about it.
[User Picture]
From:[info]accio_arse
Date:May 27th, 2008 02:11 pm (UTC)
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HELLLLLOOOO! :)

I know, I got myself an immune system infection! How horrible is that? Only I didn't like to say it, since the only immune system infection most people have heard of is HIV/AIDS and obviously what I have isn't anything that bad.

In fact, my lymph nodes are always swelling up and down when I'm a bit run down, especially at the back of my neck. Never had them infect before, though. Ow. It happened after I did a big writing stint, about 10 hours a day for 10 days straight. I got cold sores, then my lymph nodes swole up and then they infected. I'll try to be more sensible in future, but it's hard when the story's in my head and it wants to come out. It's very overpowering.

And my body is about 40% bosom as it is, even without any added bosomyness from you, thank you very much. :P

I think we both love words beyond reason. We just want to make love to some sweet lovin' words, ooh yeah, all night long baby.

You didn't miss anything, I haven't been here. I haven't checked into LJ for over a month, maybe.

*waves again*
From:[info]dark_safari
Date:June 1st, 2008 02:26 pm (UTC)
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Ultimately it's a self-defeating thing to do. If I don't set down my ideas and make them real, I can never set about honing them, testing them, and slowly getting better at having them. I'll always live in an amorphous grey cloud of possibilities. I need to crystallise them into their true potential, no matter how flawed.

Do eeet! :)
I'm only just realising the value of recording my thoughts and ideas. I used to carry a notebook around with me all the time. I must have about 25-30 of them, in varying sizes, covering various stages in my life when I was burning with ideas, creativity, etc. I've just dug them out of their box and want to make some kind of record or index of ideas.
Looking back and reflecting on your ideas is really important, I think, but of course, you need to note them down and record them before you can do that.

I agree with the comment about your fertile mind. You *do* have a fabulous imagination and ways of phrasing sentences.

p.s. Hoorah for your updates! xxx
[User Picture]
From:[info]accio_arse
Date:June 1st, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
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I know, I know I should just doooo eeeeeet (as Ren would say, or was it Stimpy?)

The thing is, I'm kind of scared to write in case it makes me ill again. After all, that's what happened last time. What's that experiment with the dog and the salivating dinner bell... or the bell and the salivating dog food... Anyway, last time I wrote what happened was I was rewarded with a nice sharp illness round the mush. So now I'm a little bit more wary. It's understandable, really.

So I'm going to break myself in gently. These very short blog entries are my first step. Next I'll start writing again, but on a timer. Short times and big breaks. See how that goes. On days I rest I'll do a short blog to keep myself ticking over.

Thanks very much for the lovely compliment. I feel a bit more fertile of mind than usual at the moment, but that's only because all my thoughts are trapped up here, unable to get out. I have the seething mind sperm of a man who hasn't had a good wank for a month now. Imagine the little wrigglers. Frustrated, they are.

Yes, controlled release. That's the idea. If I let all the words out at once the mess to my keyboard might be irreparable.
From:[info]trickseybird
Date:June 12th, 2008 09:18 am (UTC)
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nodes are bollocks. I had glandular fever. D:
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From:[info]accio_arse
Date:June 30th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
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Hello!

Thanks! I'm pretty much over it now. God, that took ages.

I have a live Iggy Pop DVD. He's cavorting all sweaty. Do you want it? I'll post.
From:[info]trickseybird
Date:July 2nd, 2008 11:51 am (UTC)
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oh hooray, have you ever seen him live?
From:[info]xinqing
Date:September 9th, 2010 08:10 am (UTC)
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