March 1st, 2009
|03:14 am - Happy dream|
I'm much happier since I moved to IJ. This is perverse of me, since I regularly go back to LJ. All the comms I post to are on LJ. Most of my f-list remains on LJ. Still, I'm happier.
I just couldn't handle the whole banning-people-for-fanfic wank. It was cowardly, but I ran away. I didn't want to be using a service that did that, to be one more number they could use for marketing purposes. It depressed me thoroughly. IJ is nice, small, and friendly.
I kind of like not getting comments. Is that odd?
I had a dream about Eddie Izzard last night. Here's a pic of him pretty much how he was in my dream.
In case you don't know, Izzard is a British comedian who's also a transvestite. In my dream, he wasn't a man like he actually is, but a lesbian, like he describes himself in his stand up act.
"I'm a male lesbian," he says.
In my teens, that was the way I used to think of myself only in reverse - a gay man, only physically a woman. So I get what he means. Izzard also calls himself an "action transvestite". Good action transvestite outfit in that picture above. (It's an outfit of Uma Therman's from 'The Avengers', a Britflick that Izzard co-starred in).
Anyway, in my dream we kissed "with tongues" as Izzard is so fond of saying. I think he says that about three times per gig. And Izzard was equipped like a woman. In my dream he was, anyway.
The strange part was how normal it felt. I didn't actually realise it was weird until the next day and I was telling people about it and they were going, "Urrrgh! That's so weird! I'm eating here! I don't want to hear any more!" Also, I've never seen that picture until I googled it, but that's how he was in my dream. I've heard him describe the outfit in a radio interview, though.
"You realise you are far from alone in that, right."
Yeah, but I'm kind of over it now. That was back when I was a teenager. I thought if I liked maths and sci-fi and comics and promiscuous sex and porn and driving too fast and DIY and I also had a woman's body it meant something had gone wrong. Nowadays, thank heavens, the concept of gender is a lot more fluid. I can just be a woman who likes all those things and it's fine.
But boy, it was horrible having to pretend for years that I didn't like all those things. I felt really angry.
Hooray for a more open, tolerant society.
I'm sorry you had to feel that way. Sexism is a horrible thing.
(you who like Gregg so much, how did you not like the fish song?)
I'm sorry, I think we just had a miscommunication. I thought you were talking about gender identity, and you were talking about basic ingrained sexism. They're not really... I misunderstood your original post.
No, you got it right, I was talking about both gender identity and sexism. Of course, they can be entirely separate issues but they also can be all mixed up. As for my gender issues versus my sexuality issues, I'm not sure where they merge either. Just know that I'm less unhappy about them than I used to be. Mostly.
I couldn't answer you earlier because my dad came round and I was doing DIY with him for a day. Ah, what fun. A power drill whizzing by my ear while I held up large bits of timber. Actually, I do kind of like it. It's good for the old bonding.
I didn't get your fish song reference. What do you mean?
I haven't logged in to IJ in ages...mainly because you were not posting. I just checked your journal and yes, you were not posting. And now you are!
So I might come back here now and again.
I've actually been to your LJ a few times in the last month and read a few of your posts. Less than before - a lot of your posts recently have been to do with the election. And now I've moved to Boosh fanfic so we no longer have HP in common either.
I think I got scared off blogging after I offended a few people unintentionally. It's so easy to do, it really put me off the whole thing. I don't know why I started again. I guess I just got over it.
Of course I've been thinking about you. Of course! I hope you're well.
Yes, sorry, not as much porn, more anxiety. When I started on LJ I was determined: no Judaism, no politics. Ah ha ha ha.
It is easy to offend people without meaning to, isn't it?
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