Licking the Salt from the Biscuit of Life - Malarkey? or Effective way?

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March 8th, 2009

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10:05 am - Malarkey? or Effective way?
More quotes from the self-help book 'How to Good-bye Depression If you constrict anus 100 times everyday. Malarkey? or Effective way?' by Hiroyuki Nishigaki. Because it's just so good.

On the power of positive thinking:

It can be compared to putting the key word (positive thinking and positive self-image) into a personal computer that has fallen into heavy oil, sludge or sewage. You had better take the personal computer from heavy oil, sludge, sewage and wash-repair-make it run on electricity. Then you can put the key word into it and make it work for you.

I don't think that's how most IT professionals would do it, actually... especially after the sewage.

So after you have finished your positive thinking (and have sucessfully wash-repair-made the heavy oil, sludge or sewage from your personal computer):

So, practicing what I have written you had better imagine above-mentioned good feelings. Healthy strong liver gives you the feeling of light spring breeze or of a tree's sprout that can relax and seduce other people.

I see. That's handy. Now I have the feeling of a seductive sprout in my healthy strong liver. Must keep practicing my good feelings and it might grow into a full forest. I could use my liver to seduce whole armies. World peace, here I come!

But wait, there's more. If I'm really lucky, I might start dreaming of the spirit.

The spirit sticks its pipe into your physical body or your aura during your dreaming, too. In such a case, you had better grasp both the tip of the pipe and the pipe during your dreaming if you feel better about the feeling of its tip. You can keep grasping the spirit for longer time than you grasp only its tip. At 3 A.M yesterday I was aware that the tip of the spirit's pipe stuck in my right eye...

A spirit that likes to come at you in your sleep waving its pipe? That sometimes just wants you to grasp the tip, and other times just goes ahead and sticks the whole thing in your most sensitive places? I really don't like the sound of that. Mr Nishigaki seemed to though. He was a very happy man.

This book continues to entertain.

(Indulge your wild theories here)


Date:March 8th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC)
The spirit had better not try sticking its pipe into me while I'm asleep!


Good lord. I hope Gillian McKeith never gets her hands on this book. I don't want to see the nation's sewage. Again.
[User Picture]
Date:March 10th, 2009 09:03 am (UTC)
I'm so glad McKeith and her sewage-poking is off air. She used to keep sewage in Tupperware! See through Tupperware! What was that woman on?

Although I have to admit I used to watch her at first, before I realised how off her head and dangerously psuedo-science she was. And there's something about car crashes that are mesmerising... oh Lord, human nature.

Sent you email!

Plus nice icon there. Mm, very apt.

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