|12:21 pm - Thoughts and plankton|
A lot of the reason why I don't write more, or at least in my journal, is a lack of belief in the value of my thoughts.
I think pretty much all the time. I have these great swirling theories in my head and they're very important to me. They keep me alive. Yet I hesitate to put them down, as if by setting them in concrete they'll be somehow diminished. Or more likely, my ideas will turn out to be a lot more rubbish than I thought they were. Perhaps I like their potential more than their reality.
Ultimately it's a self-defeating thing to do. If I don't set down my ideas and make them real, I can never set about honing them, testing them, and slowly getting better at having them. I'll always live in an amorphous grey cloud of possibilities. I need to crystallise them into their true potential, no matter how flawed.
( More, mostly about why I haven't been updating any of my fics because of my lymph nodes )